Tories Kibosh Question Period – We’re Done With That

C-CeilingMouthFollowing last week’s news that the Conservative Party of Canada would not participate in national televised debates during the upcoming federal election campaign, another announcement may have slipped by Canadians. In a long expected move, the Harper Conservatives announced they will no longer participate in Question Period.

According to Conservative spokesperson Tory MacTactic, a shadowy figure long associated with Conservative Party election campaigns, “We’ve done that for a long time and we don’t want to do it anymore.”

Question Period occurs daily when the House of Commons is sitting. Televised since 1977, its official purpose is to allow Opposition MPs to call the Government to account for its policies and actions.

Mr. MacTactic revealed the Conservatives would instead hold Answer Episodes across the country, promising a minimum of five such events per year, while boasting this would set “a record in modern political history.” Humans vs Harper has been told that reporters covering the announcement were stunned into silence by Mr. MacTactic’s use of the word “modern,” with one saying she’d never before heard a Harper Conservative use that word in public.

“The Answer Episodes are further proof of our government’s commitment to transparency and full disclosure,” MacTactic went on. “That transparency will be distilled and sharply focused into each Answer Episode. Plus, our MPs are thrilled that they’ll no longer have to answer the tedious questions the Opposition parties choose. Instead, we can give our full attention to the topics we know are important to Canadians, something we’re always the best positioned to determine.”

Meanwhile, Opposition Parties committed to gathering in the House on a daily basis to ask questions of the government. A House janitor, anonymously posing as an MP, noted it would make no difference if the government was there to answer questions adding that the Harper government holds the record for making Question Period a farce.

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