Do It for Dean!

Humans vs Harper has received the following fundraising letter from the Conservative Party. Another stunning example of how out of touch our PM is.

Conservative Party logo

Dear Friends,

Did you see what happened to Dean Del Mastro last week?

del MastroI’m sure you will agree that Dean del Mastro has been a loyal and upstanding member of our party, standing by me and you against our enemies. His sentence is a travesty, perpetuated by our corrupt courts, with judges and prosecutors appointed by former Prime Minister Jean “billion dollar boondoggle” Chretien and his ilk leading the war on Conservative values.

This is truly a disgrace and we must put a stop to it once and for all. Look at these decisions by self-entitled Liberal judges:

  • Remember when Chief Justice Beverley McLachlin and her Court ruled that Marc Nadon, an eminent judge, could not represent Quebec on the Supreme Court? We were forced to add a few lines to an omnibus budget bill to make him eligible. In the end, a reasonable appointment by a democratically elected government was defeated by a bunch of non-elected judges.
  • Earlier this year, that same court decided the government’s get-tough, mandatory-minimum sentences for gun crimes constituted cruel and unusual punishment and violated the Charter. Can you believe it? Over and over, I’ve been telling you that Charter’s got to go.
  • Also this year, the court unanimously rejected as unconstitutional the ban on doctor-assisted suicides. It gave Parliament a year to draft new legislation – so kind of them. Again, Liberal judges and their Charter are making laws instead of leaving them up to democratically elected Conservatives. We will fight this ruling! We will do everything to delay it and stop it!
  • Last year, the court ruled that we – I repeat, a democratically elected Conservative government – cannot reform the Senate. The court said that we would need the consent of seven provinces representing half the population. Abolition would require provincial unanimity. Heh heh, that’s a weight off our shoulders. Now we can get back to nominating our most deserving friends – maybe one of you?
  • The court also overturned our Truth in Sentencing Act. We wanted to stop judges from routinely giving inmates extra credit for time spent in in pre-trial custody. Now judges can allow up to 1.5 days credit for each day served. It’s a desecration! We will fix this come hell or high water!
  • The court struck down the country’s laws prohibiting brothels, streetwalking and living off the avails of prostitution. As you know, our new law closed the hooker lobby down. Now the whores and their pimps will go to jail where they belong. At least that’s one huge victory!
  • Still, we are constantly fighting the courts over so-called safe-injection sites. We tried to close the Vancouver site by denying it a renewed exemption under the Controlled Drugs and Substances Act. The court found that denial breached the principles of fundamental justice and ordered the exemption renewed immediately. Just what do judges know about fundamental justice? We’ll show them!

We are being thwarted at every turn on our Lock ‘Em Up and Throw Away the Key agenda. I think we all agree that the whole justice system needs to be obliterated.

And with your generous donations we can do it!

When you elect us one more time, we’ll have the power to abolish our current judicial system and institute one that truly reflects our values. After that we won’t even need to stand for elections because we’re going to get rid of them too.

I know Dean knows that we can’t help him and he’s OK with that. But, you can all remember Dean by redoubling your donation to help us end this system of corrupt judicial liberalism.

Donate today! Do it for Dean!

Yours truly,

Stephen Harper

Recently Anointed President of the Conservative Party

Leader of Everything Else

PS Yes, it’s true we appointed some of these judges. We believed in them, but their judgments show how corrupt the whole system is and how it has to go. Down with the courts!  

PSS We amended the Income Tax Act so that all card-carrying Conservatives are now eligible for a tax receipt for their donations. We did it in a 1,000 page omnibus bill so no one would notice. Act now! Make your fully tax deductible donation right now (before the court finds out and we have to cancel it). We’re working for you!

6 thoughts on “Do It for Dean!

  1. When I first started to read this, I thought it was you, copying for us, a Con email to their base……. then, as I kept reading, I sort of ‘felt’ the TIC attitude ~ by the end of it all, I was almost laughing out loud! Oh My! Now wouldn’t this be something to actually send to all the Con base??? Bet there’d be some faceplants out there!!


  2. I was feeling shaky anyway this am but now it’s an all out faint! If even a small bit of this stuff is true – I’m shocked – and I thought I sort of follwed what was going on! Boy what a research team you guys are. Have you received any death threats yet?

    Liked by 1 person

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