I’m so glad I found you, Sir!
Warrant officer Gay Guess reporting in with news from the Canadian military gender wars. Take my word for it; they are non-stop, Sir.
I’m currently assigned to the Canadian Army Doctrine and Training Centre. My orders are to support National Defence Headquarters with the total integration of advanced gender perspectives for our military leadership.
I am working under the command of General Tom Lawson, our most senior commander. General Tom is set to retire in the fall and he’s told me that he is keen to successfully complete this assignment.
Full disclosure: General Tom suggested in a recent CBC interview that some male soldiers are “biologically wired in a certain way” and that The Wiring means they must press themselves and their desires on female soldiers. (Noting the issue of Female Wiring was not discussed in the interview and it’s also not clear whether The General believes The Wiring plays a role in male-on-male desire pressing.)
General Tom has freely acknowledged that he has “awkward characterization” issues when it comes to gender mainstreaming in our armed forces, Sir. I frankly, but respectfully submitted to General Tom that until he gets a handle on his awkward disclosure issues, our mission is at risk.
This week General Tom and I began to go over a short list of fairly standard questions designed to get a deeper understanding of how he – and his cohort – truly thinks about male and female roles, activities and desires.
Questions for the General:
- What is a dirty sock?
- Does pink always have to be approached with caution? Discuss.
- What is the difference between a recipe and a plan?
- What kind of desire does vacuuming signal?
- Will men ever burn their underwear?
Guess what, Sir? General Tom does not get it – not any of it. And, every day he has a new excuse.
Yesterday he complained that the Conservative government abolished leadership training years ago because they already have the leader they need (that leader is not female, Sir). He said that put the kibosh on the Forces’ inspiring equality workshops. Sir, he actually cried when he told me how badly he misses becoming a non-sexist man.
I handed him a tissue thinking, “Yeah, sure, tell me another one, General Tom.”
But, what if he really is looking to change, Sir. What if he desperately needs the kind of inspiration only old feminists such those at HvH could provide? What then is my duty, Sir?
Warrant Officer Gay Guess
Canadian Army Doctrine and Training
Centre Canadian Armed Forces
P.S. Here’s another question that baffled General Tom: What does shopping for bargains mean?