Steve and Arthur and Every Breath You Take – Ten Questions

Tweedles1Humans vs. Harper keeps learning more and more about Stephen Harper and his right wing evangelical gun-toting posse. We’ve recently learned that his official Conservative Party lawyer is a fellow evangelical by the name of Arthur Hamilton.

Arthur and Steve have been together since the founding of the Conservative Party in 2003. Whenever the Conservative Party is in court, Arthur is usually there to defend them.

We don’t yet know if Arthur will be called as a witness at Senator Mike’s trial. We do know he was asked for advice on how to manage Mike’s needs before all that became a Conservative Party scandal. And, that he cut the $13,560 cheque the Conservative Party paid out to cover some of Duffy’s early legal expenses. In the 2011 robo call scandal, Arthur represented Conservative Party election workers when Elections Canada began its investigations, representation that led some to question his lawyerly ethics.

Arthur is a highly successful Toronto lawyer and a devout evangelical Christian (Markham’s Unionville Alliance Church). For example, he played college football in a way that honored Jesus Christ. Arthur drives a Jaguar because that’s what his clients expect of him. As might also be expected, he owns a $2 million home. Sorry to say we don’t know what Jesus expected of him on such purchases.Tweedles2

Neither do we know if his Unionville Alliance Church doubts climate change and defends fossil fuels like Harper’s Christian and Missionary Alliance Church does. We do know that most Alliance churches champion orthodox libertarianism. They believe that God is opposed to government regulation or taxation and, particularly, that environmental regulation is an obstacle to God’s will.

(“Hi, my name is God. I was good with Regulations for a while – you know, Moses and All. But gosh almighty, who has more Regulations than the churches these days. Faith Admin is now Boss Triumphant.)

Arthur is ardently devoted to Steve, a state that he owns with brimming, not to say bristling, pride.

In an interview with the Globe and Mail, Arthur declared: “He (Stephen) owns my next breath.” (Earlier in the interview he said that, as a Christian, God owned his next breath. It may be that Arthur is in a conflict-of-interest position here.)

Still, if Steve does own Arthur’s next breath, HvH offers ten questions that directly bear upon Arthur’s situation.

  1. If God is the breath-owner of record, does Arthur ever fear that he’s having impure breaths?
  1. When is the last time Arthur felt comfortable taking a deep breath?
  1. What does Arthur do when he’s running short of breath and he can’t reach Steve?
  1. Similarly, when Arthur must do some heavy breathing, does he ever worry that Steve might forget him?
  1. When Steve gets mad at Arthur does he threaten to hold Arthur’s breath?
  1. Has Arthur told his family exactly how critically important Steve is to the family’s well being?
  1. Does Arthur feel misunderstood when his wife says: “Just stop and breathe”?
  1. Does Arthur ever get to blow out the candles on his birthday cake?
  1. Given the well-known effects of oxygen deprivation, how often does Arthur experience sluggish thinking?
  1. As an Alliance Church follower, is Steve allowed to regulate Arthur’s breathing?

7 thoughts on “Steve and Arthur and Every Breath You Take – Ten Questions

  1. the emphasis of the church and god in everything they say and do is creepy – Did they slip across the border from the good old Christian US at some point and aren’t really Canadians? and – breath-owner of record – what a concept!

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  2. well, that was entirely breathtaking – all that shocking information and the suspicious alliances and the mouth-to-mouth resuscitation. thanks for the heads-up.
    regards,
    breathless

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    • Breathtaking, it sure is. And, we like to remind ourselves that many folks are reminding all of us that all this most likely just represents a sliver of the shenanigans that go on in Harper’s PMO.

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