Secret Conservative Party Memo Reveals Busted Balloon Strategy

Secret Conservative Party Memo Reveals Busted Balloon Strategy

BallonsHumans vs Harper has uncovered a secret Conservative Party memo detailing growing Party concerns about the number of policy and promise balloons Stephen Harper is launching prior to the fall election. Part of a backgrounder to prepare Party operatives for  a pre-election Balloon Summit, the memo identified a short list of the Party’s priority concerns about the balloon count.

There are so many balloons floating around that the Party is losing track of its core campaign messaging set, a cardinal sin in campaign communications. In fact, the balloons are playing havoc with the public’s perception of the brand — round and colorful does not play well with the Party’s economic message. Continue reading

Confessions of a Stephen Harper Troll – Chapter Two

Confessions of a Stephen Harper Troll – Chapter Two

TrollRectangleWe weren’t sure that we would be able to bring our HvH visitors and fans Chapter Two of this fascinating saga but our inside gal is telling us to hang in. She says this baby Troll is a real keener. In Chapter Two, he’s biding his time as he waits for his Troll Thesaurus.

Chapter Two:

It turns out that Duffy is not talking. His lawyer is running the show and he won’t let Duffy say a word. Nigel couldn’t get the guy to go away, but this lawyer shuts him up—go figure.

Anyway, I’m on standby waiting for a new assignment and they got me in training. Kind of, have you got what it takes to be a Robo Troll? Guess what? I’m gonna ace that course. Continue reading

Confessions of a Stephen Harper Troll – Chapter One

Confessions of a Stephen Harper Troll – Chapter One

TrollRectangleAs our readers know, Humans vs Harper has an inside track on Canadian politics that is second to none. We heard about this story a while back and we knew that with hard work and our irresistible charm, we could bring it to you. So – drum roll — starting today and continuing every week till this story is told, our latest exclusive: Confessions of a Stephen Harper Troll.

Chapter One:

When the call came in, the person asked me: “Are you angry, are you bitter?” Continue reading

Harper Lays the Truth and Reconciliation Commission to Rest

Harper Lays the Truth and Reconciliation Commission to Rest

From time to time, Humans vs Harper will shift gears to speak seriously to Harper’s response to critical Canadian issues. This post on Harper’s response to the Truth and Reconciliation Commission is one of those times.

REST-IN-PEACE180Reconciliation requires genuine trust and an abiding commitment to healing and progressive change even as it is fraught with complexity and nuance. So, we come to the Truth and Reconciliation Commission (TRC) report and recommendations. Continue reading

My Boss, the Fact-resistant Human

My Boss, the Fact-resistant Human

Apparently our PM may believe the world is 6,000 years old.

Apparently our PM believes Earth is only 6,000 years old.

The other day, while waiting for the Caucus to convene, I read an article in The New Yorker by Andy Borowitz, who reported on a new strain of fact-resistant humans. These are people who cannot absorb facts.

As soon as I read the words “fact-resistant humans,” I knew that our own dear leader Stephen Harper had been afflicted with the disease. I wanted to warn him immediately and advise him to see a doctor, but I knew it would be useless. Continue reading

Arms Sales and Saudi Silver Linings

Arms Sales and Saudi Silver Linings

Pictured here the LAV (Light Armored Vehicle) at the center of the massive Saudi arms deal recently brokered by the Harper government. Touted as a vehicle that “combines versatility, survivability, lethality,” it’s manufactured by General Dynamics Land Systems Canada, a subsidiary of the American-owned Combat Systems business group of General Dynamics Corporation. While Canada is required to screen requests to export military goods to countries like Saudi Arabia that “have a persistent record of serious violations of the human rights of their citizens,” we don’t know if this sale was screened because Harper has kept those details secret.

Pictured here the LAV (Light Armored Vehicle) at the center of the massive Saudi arms deal recently brokered by the Harper government. Touted as a vehicle that “combines versatility, survivability, lethality,” it’s manufactured by General Dynamics Land Systems Canada, a subsidiary of the American-owned Combat Systems business group of General Dynamics Corporation. While Canada is required to screen requests to export military goods to countries like Saudi Arabia that “have a persistent record of serious violations of the human rights of their citizens,” we don’t know if this sale was screened because Harper has kept those details secret.

The Bombkill Institute, a Canadian public relations and lobbying firm that champions the Canadian arms industry, hosted a backgrounder for Ottawa media yesterday, entitled “What Canada Can Learn from Saudi Arabia.” Best known for its influential workshop series, “Selling Guns: A Profession or a Lifestyle?” the Bombkill Institute has been quick to capitalize on the growing interest in Canada’s $15 billion arms sale to the Saudis.

Martin “Rat-a-Tat” Bombkill, the Institute’s founder, struck an uplifting tone with reporters, Continue reading

Tories Kibosh Question Period – We’re Done With That

Tories Kibosh Question Period – We’re Done With That

C-CeilingMouthFollowing last week’s news that the Conservative Party of Canada would not participate in national televised debates during the upcoming federal election campaign, another announcement may have slipped by Canadians. In a long expected move, the Harper Conservatives announced they will no longer participate in Question Period.

According to Conservative spokesperson Tory MacTactic, a shadowy figure long associated with Conservative Party election campaigns, “We’ve done that for a long time and we don’t want to do it anymore.” Continue reading